Barbara

I never really knew much about her except that she was an aunt, somewhat. By affinity anyway.

Her full name didn't even roll off my tongue as smoothly as did her nickname which, without question, is what I recognize all of these 40-plus years that I "knew" her and of her. There are about two other Barbaras I know and none of them I claim to know as much as I did aunt-by-affinity Barbara. She'd always been nice to us. To me, at least, she was, in the rare times that I'd encounter her when she'd drop in on birthday parties in our growing-up years.

Anyway then there's something about certain places such as funeral parlors that I can't get a proper grip on especially as an adult in the many times that I needed to be in one for visitations. It was either the location – which among those on the avenue they're lined up did they say it was? – or the right room they call chapel, the last physical private chamber one finds oneself in between life and the lifeless before the final parting that I end up fumbling.

I do so always get these wrong, as what happened last night to visit this late "aunt" Barbara whose full name I at least finally got right when inquired who it was I was at the funeral parlor for. It was for directions to "Chapel 7" I asked the guard-on-duty and was given the run on. Turns out it was "Chapel F" that matched the name. I knew I'd miss that again, as the guards probably knew those happen every time. As people, we make mistakes, one more often than others.

There's consolation in the thought that death means liberation from those that bind us, to loneliness, regrets or shortcomings – of ours and others'.

Barbara seems to have not lived her last years as she would have dreamt of. We always dream of a life of fulfillment, do we not? It's not always that we aim for comfort but simple things like meaningful conversations or that we – they – are looked after thoughtfully are what makes their sunset days worth every minute of our living.

I at least now know she went with more relatives-by-affinity being around who cared enough to see she was given decent moments she deserved. Every soul deserves decent moments no matter how much of a stranger we all are to each other and Barbara was no exception. She was given that as she will be having it in the coming hours of her last earthly moments,  before she is finally laid to rest.

And it isn't that one is finally laid to rest. Passages are when one like her can finally claim real peace in the true sense of the word.

Dalaw

1. SMS the "loved one"

Tinatamad ka bang bumisita sa iyong loved ones sa sementeryo? ..... Are you not up to visiting your loved ones at the cemetery? Text DALAW at i-send sa 2366 ..... Text DALAW and send to 2366 Sila mismo ang dadalaw sa yo ..... They will be the ones to come and visit you Choices are: 1) Nakasilip sa bintana ..... Peering through the window 2) Nakatingin sa yo habang natutulog ka ..... Looking at you while asleep 3) Nakatayo sa iyong paanan ..... Standing by your feet 4) Nakahiga sa tabi mo ...... Beside you in bed Ano pa inaantay mo? text na! ..... What are you waiting for? Text now!

. . .

This original text joke ca. 2011 can only have been thought of by a Filipino. I'm not sure, though, if the text message really came from Globe Telecoms which owns the "2366" gateway number. Otherwise, may the original sender of this brilliant SMS please stand up or shall I call upon the spirits of the universe to, please, make yourself known?

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2. e-Online mo

A couple of years back, a tarpaulin billboard appeared on the side of Legacy Building adjacent to the Quezon Avenue branch of Mercury Drugstore (across McDonald's and Crossings) in Quezon City.

Bye, Bear

today will be the day we turn the last pages of the book on how we, mother and daughters, had, for quite some time, become the two-legged home minorities since the dog-families became part of our extended family with the cats.

in the days and years to follow, it will be quiet.

being the only survivor that had outlived her brood that first came into our lives more than 15 years ago, Bear has become "the one:" our mother's baby, our company and center of energies.

in a few more moments, she, like the spirit she and her brood had been to us, too, will simply become energy.

755am

by this time, it's all reactive.

"not with a bang but with a whimper," as if the whimper is that of the puppy dog she once was and has come to be.

despite knowing one day this will come but more so because there's nothing we can do to ease the pain of separation from body and earth, we are helpless. that pains us, too. going the "natural" way is not without suffering.

1015am
i couldn't find chinx, here with you and mama below, soon enough to see you go –  he'd be the only cat you could be friends with, though you know pooch came to your side to keep you warm the other night. for the first time that night, you did not mind her.

smv will understand but not without regret of being so immersed with commitments as to not get the chance to see you one last time.

she trusts that you, as with those who went before you, had all the best we could provide. you knew.

at your last breath, you went so quietly and made laying you to rest effortless for mama and i, as if you were aware of how the hours of separation was so privately heartbreaking enough as it was for us all.

thank you, Bear. sleep now, with Maki, Rebo, Socks, Bubbly, Jjay, Mouser, Aga, Ms. M and the four-legged friends – yours and ours – that all once enjoyed the sun in the the garden, the especially-prepared meals we'd be all too pre-occupied with; the special bring-home pasalubong* bags from smv, mj and all our human friends, the playful moments, our tender loving and care.

there'll be none of that for us after today but for you, perhaps the state of joyful pet days and eternal tranquility.

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*gifts

a personal passage

Thank you to the Man from Manila

There is something to be said about the true character of a person, man or woman.

Francis Magalona was a true-blooded showbiz personality, he the offspring of a showbiz union.

Perhaps it is that old school lineage manifests itself no matter the bumpy journey one has -- or had, as his -- that niceness, gentlemanliness, courtesy, humility and passion for one's calling seep through the superficial social stereotypes, self-vandalisms and peer pressures.

Francis was always a cut above the rest because he was articulate, artistic and intelligent and demonstrated the freest of expressions than any of his contemporaries ever did. Yet he always did things with flair, even as a noontime show host from which a live feed on its sister station broke to announce his passing today, Friday.

Rap is not Filipino, but Francis made it Pinoy. As a rap musician, he put an agreeable, friendly face to what became an angry, jaded and sometimes negative, genre. Like in person, his anger was acceptable and viral because, really, they were about concern for the Bayan (country) and for each kababayan (countrymen).

I guess Francis has said and done enough in 44 years: about his very public life, his nationalism, politics and advocacy, and his private pain and gallant battle with illness in which, finally, his physical shell could no longer handle.

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FrancisM's last entry dated 14 Jan 2009

"...I look forward to the pain as I know my journey is on full speed ahead. I will not be bold to say that without asking a favor from you all. PLEASE PRAY for me as I undergo treatment. Your prayers, as always, have sustained me. And am sure the Lord will listen to all our prayers. To His will I submit myself..."

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I salute a Filipino for accomplishing a lifetime in 44 years. Hopefully, your life messages will be listened to for years to come. Salamat, FrancisM.

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LINKS

Photo of Francis Magalona from his official site.
Please visit http://www.magalona.com
FrancisM's AML blogumentary
Francis on Wikipedia
His clothing line and other creations can be seen here.

Watch the breaking news on QTV 11's Balingtanghali here

Image above | krvilla.09

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UPDATE with a couple of links on general reading about FrancisM's cancer, 08 Mar 09

Read up on Adult Acute Myeloid Leukemia from cancer.gov
About Leukemia, AML and other types from leukemia-lymphoma.org
About Mixed-Lineage Leukemia from Howard huges Medical Institute, published Dec. 2001
Adult acute myeloid leukemia from the National Cancer Institute
Some AML FAQs from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance

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UPDATE 2
Philippine music chronicler Pocholo Concepcion's write-up (PDI: "FrancisM loses happy battle") on the breaking news as it appeared in print on 07 March 2009 said so much more than any other quick write-ups that made it to the deadline. Read it here.

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A growing number of links by and about Francis Magalona can be found here.

keep in mind the lessons of the lecture: randy pausch, 47

Again, no one is too prepared. Image from NYTimes' Tara Parker-Pope, from among many late breaking news and blogs. American college students — and the rest of humankind — are lucky to have had an inspirational, persevering and empowered human being live the way he did, in their lifetime. Our lifetime.

"You might be surprised by how little time you spend doing things you love most"

.....

Wishlist: The Last Lecture book excerpt.

Related entry.

Outbound:

Wired entry.

His personal page is currently not accessible, probably due to high traffic. The cached page is here.

Telos (78)

"There are... things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind." ~ Dostoyevsky, Notes from the Underground [1864]

RLV,Jr

Have given space to others who have passed on but who I do not know personally, except for beloved grandma (AFB), Sir Roger and Rene O., e.g., but today, I think it proper to give this space to RLV,Jr.

I do not know RLV,Jr intimately and the one chance of an encounter — kind of vague now — sits among other collections of childhood memories in my mind.

Having learned that after 78 years, his earthly existence has reached its end today (written "30", as they say), I wish to say:

Rest in peace. dismalgurl and I, or maybe mjb and you, will hopefully get the chance of another encounter, maybe a chat, someday.

Photo credits: Montage krvilla08| typebar and keys: Pawel Kryj and Jean-Pierre Ceppo / sxc.hu

Rene O. Villanueva, 1954-2007

Nawa'y ang iyong punla sa dekada at siklong nagdaan ay patuloy na manatiling kumbersasyon ng kasalukuyan at susunod na henerasyon.

TOYP | New York Film and TV Festival | First Latin American Video and Film Festival (Columbia) | Japan Prize (Preschool Category) | Prix Juenesse Winner (Germany) | TOYM | CCP | Gawad Collantes | Gantipalang Quezon| National Book Award | Palanca Awards

Mababasa ang kanyang mga panulat at pananaw sa internet dito.
Isang pagbanggit ukol sa kanyang huling mga sandali ay mababasa dito.
Karagdagang mga tala: Wikipedia | Aklat Batibot | Likhaan.com.ph

Ang imahe ay gawang-kamay ng may akda. Hinihiling ko ang paalam kung nais magamit sa ibang paraan • Illustration is by the blog author. Permission for use is requested.

Bip, you have spoken peace.

Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?
~ Marcel Marceau 1923-2007

Ah, September. Silencing yet another voice.

Positive Power

There are those who, in life, inspires us to aspire, and who, in their passing, inspires us further to live our lives better.



Luciano Pavarotti's distinct, powerful voice recognized everywhere gave life to works composed lifetimes before him. Even if I do not understand the language, I am moved by the music.

In Anita Roddick's holistic work, the one which has the most impact on me, on the other hand, was giving her voice to those who do not have the facility to communicate vocally: speaking on behalf of the animals. Yes, Dame Anita, I know they thank you, too.

1943-2007
....
Image courtesy of The Age

Grazie.

Your voice and joie de vivre will be missed. Grazie, il sig. Luciano, il Maestro. Riempia il cielo di vostra voce dolce.